America is a comfortable place. While not everyone lives a comfortable life, one of the ideas built into the American dream is that living well beyond the necessities is a goal anyone can reasonably attain. I am grateful that I was born in a land with such bountiful blessings from the Lord. At the same time, our 21st century world has lost sight of the value of hardship. When we ponder the lives of the redeemed that Scripture records, we discover that difficulty is an effective teacher. The book of Proverbs places particular value on the difficulty of correction. Correction is not easy to receive, but it is valuable.
I have entitled Proverbs 29 “Wisdom’s Correction.” Correction, or reproof, is a theme of this chapter. Verses 1, 15, 17, and 19 all mention reproof or correction directly, and several other verses mention it indirectly. A man who seeks wisdom will also seek out correction, and in Proverbs 29 Solomon explains why.
Verse 1 begins, however, by first explaining the danger of too much correction. “He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.” A child, employee, or citizen that is “often reproved“ has the potential to “harden his neck“ to the reproof and to the authority giving it. A person under authority can be corrected too much by an undiscerning parent, boss, or government, so that he becomes defiant to the authority and deaf to his words. While we are to reprove and hold accountable the people we lead, constantly correcting or rebuking them ends up just being noise. An imbalance in correction can ruin a relationship. By reproving with unreasonable frequency, you as a parent can “provoke your children to wrath“ (Eph. 6:4).
Notice a startling detail about this verse: the child may be “destroyed without remedy.” Once someone under authority hardens her neck because of too much reproof, not only can the relationship be irreparably destroyed, but also can that person. Yes, the authority is speaking truth, perhaps even from a heart of love. But when authorities conduct themselves obnoxiously, the person under authority rebels against the truth, often takes the path of a defiant fool, and may end up destroyed without remedy. Leaders must avoid unnecessarily alienating people with overbearing reproof, even if they are speaking the truth. Teach the truth, and plead with your hearers to avoid the heartache of the fool’s path, but take the warning of Proverbs 29:1 and beware of beating people up with the truth. Do not “often reprove” those you’re responsible for.
Verse 15 describes the opposite extreme of verse 1. It speaks of dereliction. While verse 1 describes the danger of too much reproof, verse 15 describes a parent who is derelict and does not reprove at all. “A child left to himself,” the verse says, “bringeth his mother to shame.” A child that is not corrected but instead has been left to himself will bring shame to his parents, specifically to his mother. In a child’s younger years, typically the mother invests more time in that child than a father does. Fathers play a more significant role later; for a son, the adolescent and teenage years are especially valuable. Regardless of at what stage the parents fail to discipline, an undisciplined child is the fault of his parents. “The rod and reproof give wisdom” if parents will be faithful to apply those tools.
What we learn from these first two extremes of correction is that we must find a balance in the ways we correct and reprove our children. Don’t overdo it, but don’t under-do it either. Wise correction requires situational discernment and varies from child to child. Regardless of the investment required, parents must not leave their children to figure out life on their own; instead we must do our job as leaders and give them wisdom.
The third aspect of correction from Proverbs 29 is the delight explained in verse 17. If we do our job as leaders and “give wisdom” as verse 15 says, then your son, or the person under your authority, “shall give delight unto [your] soul.” Verse 17 goes on to say that “he shall give [you] rest.”
Disciplined children (or, for that matter, disciplined people in general) are a delight to interact with. Disciplined children, however, usually come from disciplined parents. Disciplined employees, likewise, won’t work long for an undisciplined employer. Leaders must model what they want to see in their followers. We must practice what we preach and behave how we believe. When we reprove others fairly and faithfully they will be a delight to us; and if we personally practice what we are preaching to them, we will be a delight to them.
The fourth aspect of correction addresses the defiant follower that even faithful leaders find challenging. Verse 19 refers to such a person: “a servant will not be corrected by words: for though he understand he will not answer." Sometimes employees or “servants” are stubborn, rebellious, and foolishly bristle when they’re corrected. Verse 19 interprets the situation: he understands what the employer is saying, but he will not listen to the words of authority. His insolence hinders him from answering. A leader must be prepared to address this one who will not listen to verbal correction with a consequence. In the context of 21st-century employment, that may mean a lack of a pay raise or even firing.
These aspects of correction are universally relevant. Everyone is under some level of authority, and we all need to be reproved and corrected. Whether we are administering or receiving rebuke, Proverbs 29 offers important reminders to have balance in reproof so that we can enjoy the benefits of of being a wise hearer.
The above article was written by James C. Johnson. He is the pastor of NorthStone Baptist Church in Pensacola, FL. To offer him your feedback, comment below or email us at strengthforlife461@gmail.com.
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