Anyone who wants insight about the purposes God has for humans should look at Genesis 1-2. Man is created in God’s image; husbands are the head of their wives and families; work is part of our calling. We glean another insight about humans from God’s commentary on the solitary Adam living in the garden: “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). The Lord’s immediate solution was to make a helpmeet for Adam—his wife, Eve. However, the husband-wife relationship is not the only relationship the Lord intended for man. While spouses should be friends, the Bible expects humans to build friendships with other people as well.
Just like the Lord gives commands concerning marriage, He also gives commands concerning friendship. Many of these commands addressing friendships are sprinkled throughout the book of Proverbs, and some chapters more than others. Chapter 27 mentions the word “friend” six times in 27 verses. For those looking for biblical wisdom on friendship, Chapter 27 is a gold mine. Among other things, this chapter teaches us what to value from a friend, and how to treat our friends. For this reason, we can give Proverbs 27 the title “Wisdom’s Friend.”
We find the first piece of wisdom in verses 1-6. The verses teach us that a friend should be both our praiser and our rebuker. “Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips,” verse 2 says. The point is that we are not supposed to praise ourselves, but let other people praise us as they see fit. It could be a “stranger," or it can be your friend; it just cannot be you.
On the other hand, a friend can also be our rebuker. The “wounds of a friend” (v. 6) come from the rebuke mentioned in verse 5. When a person gets sinfully angry or jealous (v. 4) a faithful friend will rebuke him. It may cause some “wounds”; it may hurt a little, but it is good pain. The sting is good for you. What is not good for you is the praise of an enemy. “The kisses of an enemy are deceitful,” verse 6 says. Your close friends will know when you deserve praise and when you need rebuke. We should value those friends in our life and be that type of friend to others.
Verse 9 contains the second piece of wisdom about friendship. The verse explains how the “hearty counsel” of a friend benefits us. “Hearty” counsel is counsel with vitality or breath. A friend with hearty counsel has vigorous advice. He counsels with urgency because he cares. When we properly understand this counsel, we rejoice in it. After all, we never know what a day may bring, as verse 1 reminds us. Today, we may face calamity (v. 10) or “a rainy day and a contentious woman” (v 15). A wise counselor can help you navigate the unexpected obstacles that present themselves throughout a day. Hearty counsel from a friend is part of God’s prescription for navigating life’s difficulties.
The third piece of wisdom is in verse 10. Here, Solomon says not to forsake your friend, nor your father’s friend. Good friends are hard to find. Most people have just two or three close friends during their life. There may be times we are tempted to forsake our friends, especially if they wound us, as verse 6 says. Solomon says not to forsake a friend, especially in the “day of your calamity." Even if you feel like life is destroying you, or like people are oppressing you, do not forsake your friends. You need them.
The fourth piece of wisdom is simple: do not annoy your friends. Sometimes we presume upon a friendship. We think that, since they will be our friend no matter what, we can act unnecessarily foolishly around them. Verse 14 provides an example: “He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.” Here is a friend with annoying behavior. No one wants to hear a loud voice first thing in the morning. Additionally, the “blessing” in this verse communicates excessive flattery. The verse could be applied to say “Don’t wake people up in the morning with a loud voice.” It could be applied to say “Stop the loud and excessive flattery; it is too early for that.” Both scenarios are annoying; the behavior “shall be counted a curse” by those who endure it. While it is true that “a friend loveth at all times” (Pr. 17:17), it is foolish to test a friends love by annoying him with nonsense. Consider also Proverbs 18:24, which explains that “a man that hath friends must show himself friendly.” So, be friendly and not annoying.
The fifth piece of wisdom is that friends sharpen each other. Verse 17 says it this way: “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Friends encourage each other. A friend is someone you can share ideas with. Debating and discussing those ideas is beneficial for each one. As your friends make you spiritually, mentally, emotionally and even physically sharper because of their influence and partnership, you are doing the same for them.
Wisdom’s friend is one who behaves consistently with these principles. A close friend who knows when to praise you and when to rebuke you is very valuable. A friend who is there to counsel you is too valuable to forsake or annoy. You need them to sharpen you, and they need you to sharpen them.
Perhaps you do not have close friends, though you may desire them. There is a friend “that sticketh closer than a brother”. He is the Lord Jesus Christ. When you read His Word, it will alternately praise you and rebuke you. So often it will counsel you, for Jesus is the “Counselor” of Isaiah 9:6, and His Word, His testimonies, “are my delight and my counselors” (Ps 119:24). Do not forsake Him, do not annoy Him by the way you live, and let Him sharpen you. “He will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:4). He sticketh even closer than a brother.
The above article was written by James C. Johnson. He is the pastor of NorthStone Baptist Church in Pensacola, FL. To offer him your feedback, comment below or email us at strengthforlife461@gmail.com.
Every Tuesday, SFL publishes relevant Bible-based content. Check back next Tuesday to read the next SFL article.
More Strength for Life...
In John 4, Jesus responds to a desperate request from a man whose position and wealth could not keep his son alive. Pastor Johnson describes three lessons we can learn from this important account.
Comments