In 3 John the apostle writes to Gaius, a man who he says “I love in the truth” (v. 1). We find out two things in those early verses of the epistle. First, John’s priority is the truth in Christ; it is the way he measures the health of a person’s soul. Second, John is greatly interested in whether or not this man, who he sees as a son in the faith, walks in that soul-strengthening truth. The apostle “rejoiced greatly,” according to verse 3, at the report of the truth that others found in Gaius. “I have no greater joy,” John says in verse 4, “than to hear that my children walk in truth.”
The lesson from 3 John is that when a spiritual authority finds that those under his care love what God loves, it brings him joy. This exact same lesson is prominent in Proverbs 23. Solomon emphasizes wisdom from a father to a son the same way John the Apostle prioritized the truth in his spiritual father-son relationship with Gaius. Both men love the same thing, just from different perspectives. Four times in Proverbs 23 Solomon includes references to parents responding with joy, rejoicing, or gladness when their children follow the ways of wisdom. Verse 24, for example, states that “the father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.” Throughout the rest of the chapter we find seven keys for a son or daughter to make their parents proud. For this reason I have entitled Proverbs 23 “Wisdom’s Joy.”
The first way to bring your parents joy is to not be deceived by the rich. This is the message of verses 1-9. The strength of this deception is that, as we see in verse 1, this ruler is a very impressive individual. The invitation to eat with him, however, is a setup. Everything looks fancy, but his motives as a host are deceitful (v. 3). Solomon warns his son not to be impressed with this man’s riches. “Be not desirous of his dainties” (v. 3), or else your situation can change as quickly as all that money flies away as an eagle towards the sky (v. 5). This duplicitous host appears generous with his wealth, but he has an “evil eye” (v. 6). In actuality, he is a stingy man. Verse 7 indicates that he will allow his victims to temporarily eat and drink but, Solomon warns, “his heart is not with thee.” The implication is that the rich man resents that he has to pay for your meal, and he will extract his payment by whatever means necessary. If you want your parents to rejoice over you, do not be impressed with pomp and circumstance of the wealthy crowd, and do not labor to be rich.
The second way to bring your parents joy is to not hurt the helpless. Verse 10 warns civil officials: “Remove not the old landmark; and enter not into the fields of the fatherless.” In other words, do not tamper with the rightful property of the vulnerable. In Solomon’s day, orphans and widows would inherit family land from their parents and grandparents. However, without the patriarch to protect the property, self-serving people could move the “landmark” of the property lines and in affect steal land without the fatherless individuals knowing or having the power to stop it. However, verse 11 indicates that widows and orphans are not as helpless as they seem. “For their redeemer is mighty; he shall plead their cause with thee.” God sees the plight of the helpless, He will take up their cause, and it will go badly for the offenders. So then, wise sons will help, and not hurt, the helpless.
The third way to make your parents rejoice is to apply yourself. “Apply thine heart to instruction” and apply “thine ears to the words of knowledge.” Do not become disengaged and daydream. Do not be slothful. Do not be a scorner. Apply your heart and your ears to gaining instruction and knowledge.
The fourth way to bring parents joy is to discipline their grandchildren, your children. The old joke is that a grandparent’s job is to spoil their grandkids. Regardless of how true that is, the parents’ job is to discipline those same children. Verse 13 reminds parents that, no, the child is not going to die if you discipline him. Instead, a parent who faithfully disciplines is discouraging a much worse fate—for that child to end up in hell (v. 14). Parents should do their job and lovingly chastise their children when it is appropriate. That will, in turn, bring joy to the father and mother.
The fifth way to make your parents rejoice is to avoid envying sinners. Verses 17 and 18 explain this principle. Instead of envying sinners, we should fear the Lord! When you are tempted to envy sinners, be mindful instead of the end of that life (v. 18). Looking toward the future will help you see the vanity of the sinner’s lifestyle. If the Lord tarries in His coming, both believers and godless sinners are going to die, but those that fear the Lord will find that their “expectation shall not be cut off“ (v. 18). Since fearing the Lord produces the confident expectation of eternal heaven, we should live for that instead of envying sinners.
The sixth way to cause your parents to rejoice is to guide your own heart. We often hear of guarding our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), but according to verse 19 God also commands us: “guide thine heart." This command is really the point of the rest of the chapter. If you want to make your parents proud of you, you will steer your heart away from the “winebibbers” and the “riotous eaters” of verse 20. You will avoid the “whore” and the “strange woman” mentioned in verse 27. You will stay away from the party lifestyle and the associated drunkenness that causes your heart to utter “perverse things” (v. 33). That hedonistic lifestyle will not bring joy; it will beat you up like waves crashing on the deck of a boat in a storm (v. 34). Even then, some will not forsake the lifestyle. The fool’s response in verse 35 is that “I will seek it yet again” like a dog returning to his vomit. If you want to make your parents rejoice, do not give your heart to wine, women, and song, or to drugs, sex, and rock ‘n’ roll. Instead the wise father says to “give me your heart” (v. 26). Guide your heart towards godly parents who love you.
The final way to bring joy to your parents is to obey the command of verse 23:, “Buy the truth, and sell it not.” That verse is really a summary statement of everything the chapter has said about making your parents rejoice. Buy and do not sell “wisdom, and instruction, and understanding.” Those virtues are beyond value. Solomon urges his son to spend whatever is necessary on obtaining truth, wisdom, instruction, and understanding. Once you have acquired it, never let it slip away.
The above article was written by James C. Johnson. He is the pastor of NorthStone Baptist Church in Pensacola, FL. To offer him your feedback, comment below or email us at strengthforlife461@gmail.com.
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